Whale, why not?
I don’t like heights. Plumb terrified of them in fact. So today, as I was spending a solitary afternoon walking along some ocean cliffs, it took a big ole pep talk for me to walk out to the edge, sit down, and scoot my feet out into the great nothingness, knowing if my flip flop slipped off, I was toast. It was scary. My heart was racing, my knees felt shaky, at one point I even slipped and slammed my phone onto the gravelly ground. I had to regroup, settle down and just be brave. This might sound silly to a lot of you and I understand that. But if you’re at all scared of heights, you understand what a huge “holy crap” moment this was for me. I never, in the history of ever, have sat on the edge of a cliff and let a body part dangle over. Granted, I didn’t get so close as to actually let my knees bend, so it kinda makes my picture look like I’m still a big fat chicken, and that’s mostly true too. But you guys...I let my feet dangle over a very high cliff on an extremely windy day and I didn’t cry! Yay me!
Yes my feet are dirty. I hiked in flip flops, remember?
I sat there for quite awhile. I was beyond nervous the whole time and kept turning around to make sure no creatures that might want to heave me over the edge had snuck up on me but I stayed there for a good thirty minutes. At least. I wanted to see whales. I’ve already seen a lot in the three weeks I’ve been out here but this spot was recommended because the water is very deep right up to the cliffs; hence a good spot for whale watching.
I didn’t see any whales. My butt was going numb, I was still doing frequent back checks for monsters and a gloomy looking rain cloud was moving in so I decided it was time to abort the mission. I crawled back to safety and started heading back in the direction of the trail when I decided to stop and watch again. I really wanted to experience a majestic whale sighting. And it’s whale season. And I was in a prime spot. I mean...it wasn’t such a tall order.
The sun was starting to set, I was feeling an occasional sprinkle of rain and I knew my chances at that point were slim. I’ve never had to wait that long to see whales when there are whales to be seen. There obviously weren’t any. But...then my six year old self took over and I started a little conversation with God and told him I wanted to see a whale today. A big, majestic whale. I told Him I knew He had the power to ask the whale to pop up for a quick hello and I asked Him to please do so. And then I waited. For quite awhile. But to no avail. No whale.
I stood up to go and started questioning my faith a little. I wasn’t testing God. This wasn’t a “if you’re there, give me a sign” kinda deal. I know He’s there. Undeniably. But I’ve been asking for some really big things in my life lately. HUGE things. Things I’ve never asked for before, to be honest. And I really believe that He has heard these pleas, that He has answered some and will answer the rest in due time. It’s what has kept my anxiety at bay every time it starts to rear its ugly head. It’s what brought me to Hawaii, full of faith and bravery like I’ve never known, leading me to sit on the edge of what felt like the world’s biggest cliff. So today, as I was walking back to the trail - whaleless - I wondered if I truly had the faith to ask for things I need, knowing I will receive them.
I do. I know I do.
So I started talking myself out of needing to see the whale because I didn’t actually NEED to see it at all. It was a silly, insignificant want. But then I thought, it’s such a small request, surely He can show me a whale if He can turn my whole life around. Am I right?
You guys...that’s when I saw the whale. A big, black, majestic whale! It started as a huge spray of water that caught my eye so that by the time it surfaced, it had my complete attention. It did the usual whale thing, jumping up; diving in...and then it did it AGAIN. Just for good measure. And I just started laughing. Like, my signature louder than necessary, laugh. I laughed so hard I cried. Or I cried so hard I laughed. I really don’t know. All I know is that today I had a little conversation with God and He played along in the simplest, sweetest way. He asked a whale to pop up and say hello JUST FOR ME.
That’s the only whale I saw tonight and it was towards the end of my hike. Once I got back to my car, I turned around to look at the spot that my whale had appeared and I kid you not, there was a rainbow in the very spot. I barely had time to snap this picture of it before it vanished again...but it was the sweetest reminder that God remembers His promises to us. And if we will wait on Him, He will grant us even the smallest of miracles.
It’s not super obvious, but it’s there.
Whatever you are asking for, believe you are entitled to those blessings. Live for them, have faith in them, work for them. If it’s significant to you, it’s significant to Him. Trust Him. You never know when a whale will pop up to say hello. Why not?
XOXO ~Ames
