Aloha state of mind

I've had a shift the last couple of weeks. There's been an audible quieting of my mind, a tangible healing of my heart, a quantifiable strengthening of my spirit. Everything I came to Hawaii hoping to find, I found tenfold.

Even my hat was glowing... 

I had one of those days on Saturday where I spent a solid 12 hours walking around with a perma-grin. I saw a massive sleepy turtle on the black sand at Punalu'u Beach. I drove to the edge of a volcanic crater and watched steam erupt from it's belly. I hiked through a rainforest, down to the valley floor, across an expansive solidified lava lake, back up through a rainforest, then through an underground lava tube. I was blessed to have forgotten my earphones and got to listen to the sounds of thousands of exotic birds and tiny trickling waterfalls while breathing in luxurious sulfur dioxide (that luckily hasn't reignited my cough yet).

Leaving the rain forest towards the lava lake

While I was walking across the pit crater, I was amazed to see enormous mounds of cracked lava that looked as much like a post-apocalyptic scene from a movie as it did a natural wonder. The most amazing part of all of it were these tiny, flowering bushes that were springing up from all the cracks in the lava. They are called ōhi’a lehua trees and they are the first life to begin to grow on lava flows. Related to a distant cousin in New Zealand, these beautiful trees evolved on the Big Island of Hawai’i to close their stomata to block out sulfur dioxide gases during volcanic eruptions. I couldn't help but get a little emotional thinking about such a beautiful, resilient creature thriving in circumstances so harsh that nothing else was growing around them. But they were stunning against the black lava and a sweet reminder that through the cruelest of circumstances beauty can erupt, survive and thrive.

My three months here have been one perma-grin-get-verklempt-take-a-thousand-photos moment after another and as my time has come closer to ending, I've become really emotional at the thought of leaving this place of wonder and these people with hearts of gold. But this is where the shift has come in. I've realized that I had a moment like that the day Brax, Gracie and I were all huddled in my bed watching the live stream of Cole being named the MVP of the 8th Grade Football National Championship game in Canton, Ohio. I had a moment like that the day a friend sent me a video of Brax running down the sidewalk of the MTC, waving and yelling, "Tell my mom I love her!". (I still get emotional thinking about that one.) I have a moment like that every time I watch Gracie, the little girl who once cried through her entire cheer camp performance, perform on stage in front of hundreds of people and SHINE. I have a moment like that every time I watch JD throw down someone trying to steal 2nd or 3rd on the varsity baseball team and I marvel to think of the little kid who saved all his money to buy himself catcher's gear because he decided he wanted to catch. These are the moments I can't get back, I can't add to a bucket list or save in a "someday" pile. All of the experiences I've had here saved me...quite literally...and they made me more ready than ever to go back to the everyday moments of my life without all of the noise in my head.

I've learned so much here. I've learned to slow down; to pull over to the side of the road if I see a whale, even if its the 1001st whale I've seen. I've learned to pay attention; to turn down random roads that look interesting and explore whatever might be waiting on the other end. I've learned to engage; to accept dinner invitations and get to know the people and learn from their stories and strength. I've learned to love; to learn names, be the first to say hello, kiss people on the cheek and ask how they are doing instead of keeping my eyes to the floor as I sit in Sunday school. I’ve learned to follow the ahu (the stacked rocks); to stick to the basics - read my scriptures, pray, go to church - and I won’t get lost. I've learned that aloha is a state of mind and that I can take it with me, wherever I go...even back to the snowy, cold tundra of Utah.

I found this bracelet at the Volcano National Park gift shop and I knew this was the souvenir I'd been waiting for. I can look down, see the word ALOHA and remember all of the lessons I learned here and all of the things I want to continue to be better at:

Akahai: kindness (grace), to be expressed with tenderness

Lokahi: unity (unbroken), to be expressed with harmony

'Olu'olu: agreeable (gentle), to be expressed with pleasantness

Ha'aha'a: humility (empty), to be expressed with modesty

Ahonui: patience (waiting for the moment), to be expressed with perseverance

"Aloha" itself means presence (ALO) and breathe (HĀ). In this crazy, busy, buzzing world, is there a better reminder for any of us than the simple prompt to BE PRESENT and BREATHE?

As nice as 80 degree days on the beach have been (and always will be until the end of time), paradise is anywhere I want it to be. And right now, nothing...I mean NOTHING...sounds better to me than being back in little ole Springville with the people I love. 12 days and counting...

ALOOOOHA!

XOXO ~Ames